My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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