I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
