i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
