It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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