oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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