thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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