Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
