OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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