love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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