I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
