Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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