i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
