I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
