It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
