Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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