Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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