I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
