They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Come on in and take your pants off
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