does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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