ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
