my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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