May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
