Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
