apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
