It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
