I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize