i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We smell like vodka and hangover
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