And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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