i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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