I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize