Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
