If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
