My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize