what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
