one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He has the fingertips of a God
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