strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Less talking, more tequila
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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