the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
