Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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