Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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