remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
