I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
