sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
