im about as happy as oj after his trial
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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