just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
