i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
