imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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