It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize