We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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