two words: eviction party
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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