just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm bleeding and have questions
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
