Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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