I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
