Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
