she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
