But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
