Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
