fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
