I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
