You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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