I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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