omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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