i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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