I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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