i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Panties = found
Randomize
