whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
