I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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