Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
